FAMILIES

Family therapy requires from the therapist a deep level of understanding and acceptance of each family member’s role, personal style, defenses and needs. Understanding the various problems that each member of the family experiences as well the developmental tasks and any obstacles to growth, is a vital element of this work. Approaching families with a non-judgmental attitude and helping to identify the barriers as well as the strengths, allows the therapist to facilitate change, narrowing the gap between parents and their children.

Many families have functioned in the same, limited ways for generations, sadly accepting the disconnection from one another as their legacy. The family therapy process results in a shift from dysfunctional patterns to new, healthier interactions that center on love and respect.

As children move into adolescence family relationships may become strained and seem forever changed. Many parents have expressed their true concern that they have lost their children to fads and peers and wonder if life as they once knew it will ever return. The communication with their adolescent can become difficult with both parents and teens not knowing how to reach each other. Happiness and family cohesion may seem to have vanished for good. Feelings of mistrust may arise widening the gap and increasing the frustration and confusion between parent and child.

Most parents of teenagers are in a constant a state of rule enforcement, besieged with limit-setting and trying, most times unsuccessfully, to negotiate and understand their teen. Even more upsetting for parents, is the sense of fear that the values they have instilled seem to have vanished with a new rebellion and willfulness taking hold of their adolescent. The frustration can be just as intense for the teen who may feel smothered, misunderstood and may be in a frequent state of intense anger and annoyance.

These are common problems that all families of teens face. The situation may seem hopeless, calling for drastic measures that restrict and force the adolescent in to adherence of established rules. Rebellion and open defiance at home and school may persist. Parents are left feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. Navigating through such turbulent times can be difficult and all sense of reason may seem to be gone, for all involved. During these times it is best to seek professional help.

The truth of most family life is that parents strive for a sense of balance with their children, wanting them to feel their love. In turn, most teens really do want to please and be accepted by their parents.

Family therapy can help a family regain a sense of harmony to their household, increasing insight and awareness of what needs to be changed and how to respectfully implement changes.

Helpful Tips:
Create a consistent, weekly routine of spending time together as a family in a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere for all members.

Present a united front as parents. Express and resolve you’re parenting disagreements and differences privately, away from your children.

Pick your battles carefully with your adolescent. Be flexible focusing only on the issues that you feel very strongly about.

Adolescents need to feel a sense of control, allow them to make as many of their own decisions as is safe and reasonable.

All children need limits. Providing limits for children helps to keep them feeling safe and loved even when they protest. Over time they will learn to place their own limits on themselves.

Provide a predictable routine and family rules. Everyone should know what to expect, knowing how to behave. Allow them to learn from the natural consequences of their behavior.

Allow your children to do for themselves what they can. This teaches personal responsibility and builds self-esteem.

Listen to each other regardless of age; all members of the family need and deserve to be heard.

Allow your children to contribute to the household, chores teach responsibility.

As a parent, take time for yourself. This provides a valuable lesson to your children in healthy self-care.

Teach your children the strength in asking for help when it is needed.